"In virtually all human societies, children's well being depends decisively upon a relatively high level of paternal investment." David Blankenhorn, Fatherless America "About one-third of all childbirths in the nation now occur outside of marriage; In most of these cases, the space for the father's name is left blank. Fifty percent of divorced fathers see their children only once a year. Thirty percent of children of divorce have never been inside their father's home." Mark Bryan, The Prodigal Father The presence, guidance and support of a father in a child's life are most important. No offense Moms, but after reading the Special Report Absentee Dads: A Child's Worst Nightmare! (which you can get at http://www.Bad-Dad.com/join_absentee.htm) and the results of numerous studies, you'll agree that a household without a nurturing father results in more dramatic consequences than one without a mother. Don't get excited, I'm not advocating homes without moms THAT'S INSANE, TOO! But having a father in the house is much more important than our family courts or society in general have credited in the past. The statistics are absolutely horrific. And they prove that fatherless homes cost us taxpayers more money in welfare, crime, child delinquency, teen pregnancy and most of the other societal ills than we can imagine. This is not about the hazards of divorce, but the fact is that parenting skills in successful divorced families must be way above average to make up for the trauma of a missing Dad on a child. And it's even more difficult to focus on the children in divorced families because studies show that it just gets harder to cope with daily life for all involved after a divorce. How do I know the effects of an Absentee Dad? I lived it. Even though I lived less than 10 miles from my kids nearly all their lives, my contact was relegated to the weekly dinner or ballgames at best. And emotional support? Forget it! I was too busy with my own life. When my children began acting out in high school, I resented it that they were demanding too much of my time. I hated it that they made me look bad. I was embarrassed. Can you believe I'm saying this? I know it's disgusting. When my life collapsed, I saw clearly through the darkest times what I had done. I saw that I was a role model for how to live badly very badly! That's when I began changing. I began reconnecting with my kids feeling my way back into their lives. After years of building trust, I'm accepted no, invited back into their lives as a much better role model. I've chronicled the steps in Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust which you can get at http://www.Bad-Dad.com/ez3.htm. |
